With the creative artillery of various entrepreneurial ventures running dry, business pundits stumbled upon a new lucrative idea, which hits right into the heart of a family's sentiment, MARRIAGE CONTRACTING !! Before I get into details, a peek into the logistics of Indian weddings show that on an average, nearly 1000 Indian couples are pushed into 'nuptial bliss' through a rigorous ceremony encompassing a minimum of 3 days. which means that apart from trying to outdo the aroma of the 'vethakuzhambu' (a tamil dish, whose very mention makes u drool) amongst neighbours, its a matter of prestige to get the best contractor for their kid's wedding by pestering their respective "ambi's" (a petname for the olden day husband) to run pillar to post in search of the best contractor.
Marriage contracting has achieved a new saga. These days, apart from burning a hole through your pocket, modern contractors ensure that every single matter is looked into, right from bribing the policemen to ensure smooth parking, to showing the boot to any ex-lover of the bride seeking vendetta against the groom. To ensure the highest quality of the 'panchakavyam*' whose main constituent is the cow's urine, specialised tasters would be brought in from the 'Morarji Desai Followers Assocition' . Heck they would even find the prefect apple or a banana tree, to ward off evil spirits or find the right donkey. But Im pretty sure there would be a disclaimer in fine print which holds no guarantee as you enter into conjugal bliss with rashes, or a kick in your groins which would ensure your tryst with holy matrimony begins on a very 'impo(r)tent' note.
Lets face it, I would rather watch grand old maamis, flashing a toothy grin at the would be's and throwing lethal**'saffron coated' rice balls while they sashay on the swings. Or the father of the bride plead with the groom not to take a trip to Kasi(yes, Tamil Brahmin weddings could get a bit dramatic !! ) than arbit unknown cooks whsipering about certain 'fishy' ingredients ala "Michael Madana Kama Rajan" or tipplers 'accidentally' mixing brandy into the grape juice, leaving all the old men and women a little tipsy.
For all the "marriages are made in heaven" bit, a little bit of effort ( a little more for the bride's father, who needs to maintain his composure as his daughter sits on his lap for a good 10 mins, while the groom ties a secure knot. Even if the bride's father has been overtly rude to him while courting her, the groom is requested not to take it out at him by being excruciatingly slow in doing so !! )can be taken by both families to add one's own personal touch and get a sense of satisfaction at the end of it !!
Some things should never change, and the ultimate reap of ur hardwork is seeing people contendly rub their tummy and show off their paan tainted teeth while you personally offer them a bag containing coconut, betel leaves and a small token of your appreciation to them for having come and showered their blessings on the couple.
* - The panchakavyam is a sacred offering mixed with fruits and the chief ingredient as mentioned above, and is supposed to have miraculous results in maintaining harmony amongst newlyweds, but with rising TRP's of the worst possible tamil serials, its effects have been subdued, due to heavy levels of mind- poisoning by these insipid shows.
**- don't let the wrinkled skin fool you, with years of practice, and razor sharp precision, these maamis can put to shame any international cricketer. Maybe the Indian cricket team can take a little bit of guidance from the "Elderly Maamis Association of India", who have spent half their lives blessing their near and dear ones in this fashion.
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